Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Sweet Summer

"Summer afternoon ----Summer afternoon; to me those have always been the most beautiful words in the English language." - Henry James

This has been such a sweet summer. Watching Laef see the ocean was crazy sweet. It was a dream in my heart. Laef held tightly onto me for a long period of time while the waves crashed in around our feet. He laid his head on my shoulder and just watched. Occasionally he would yell at the sky and the birds and then lay his head back down.

Eventually he got more brave and started to own the beach.

Brandon and I took Laef on a little vacay last month since Brandon and I are going to the Bahamas without Laef in a few weeks. We are going to take him one more time before summer completely shuts its curtains. A weekend with friends in Hilton Head sounds like a plan, and we'll go ahead and call it "Pre Bahama Vacation."

Laef got a bike from his Grandparents for his first birthday. He can't quite reach the pedals, but loves riding it and ringing the bell. I love these photos of him.

Laef is all boy.... the noise making with his mouth has totally started. He learns new sounds every day. He tries to talk a lot. He officially can say "Hey" and "Hi" and follow up with a wave. He's off the bottle and the sippy cup is his new friend. I'm starting to transition him from two naps to one nap (starting today.) I've been blessed enough to have him sleep 4 hours in the middle of the day since he was like 4-6 months old. Thats probably the only way I have survived wedding season.

He eats so much, and finally I can say feeding him isn't a pain anymore. I used to dread it.  He has 10 teethe and so he pretty much can eat anything. ;)

Below is our neighbor and close friend Josiah... ;)

As for me, June, July, and August have been such a learning experience. I've had crazy amazing weeks and crazy horrible weeks--weeks where I want to quit my business and just be a mom and weeks where I want to quit being a mom and just run a business.  And then something amazing happens for me, and I keep pressing on, I keep getting inspired. Laef helps me become more and more inspired with his changing. He learns new things and it's new to photograph and new for my eyes and ears. It's sorta like a trick. 

For instance, a few weeks ago I had a horrible, horrible, horrible week. Laef had a fever for 4 days, rashes, new tooth popping up, I had a client who was being horrible to me, and Brandon was working a crazy amount of hours. So I was feeling like the ceiling was caving in on my poor soul. When Friday eve hit and Laef was put to bed, I threw myself on my bed and sobbed, "Finally this wretched week is over!" 

That Sunday I sat on the end of my bed sobbing (yet again) to Brandon how I couldn't imagine ever having another baby because I was over my head in work and I wasn't a good mom...yada yada yada. Emotional roller coaster.....  Thank goodness I have a husband and a best friend who can put my life into perspective and say "Beka, you have an amazing life, a dream job, and you're an excellent mom.... you just had a rough week. It will all change and be back to normal." Thankfully, it did. The next week Laef was as sweet as pie, healed, happy, my client became non-existent and Brandon worked fewer hours. 

I stood washing my dishes a few days later staring at my beautiful boy who had just woken up from his nap. His hair was curly all on one side of his head and his big, brown, beautiful eyes stared at me as he sipped his green sippy cup. I melted. I stood thinking to myself, "This boy is so so so beautiful, he's so perfect. I could have 10 of him and be so happy." See...... I tell you, it's a trick. Love allows you to forget last week's crap and embrace and live in the moment of beauty. And thank goodness for that. Seriously. 

I can honestly say I've learned so much this year in every area of my life...learning to let go of the things that aren't as big of a deal as you think they are...learning how to clean my house and do every job known to man with one hand, edit a full wedding with a screaming baby pulling on my arm for 6 hours, etc. yep. Have I almost lost my mind? yep. Many times, I just have to start laughing, because if any of my photographer friends could walk into my house and see what I do, they would be stunned that I can even breathe and run my little business. I'm doing it and I'm learning, and I'm keepin on... 

Will there be things I change for next year? Heck yes, but Laef will also be a completely different age. I'm a stickler on not letting media babysit my kid.

I read this sweet article a few weeks ago, and it gave me so much encouragement. I also cried through most of it, because when I think about my future, I know the only way that I can do all that I'm going to do,and have more kids and run a business and be the best wife ever is to lean into the Lord for all my strength. http://www.shortstopblog.com/2013/08/to-moms-of-one-or-two-children.html 

Anyways, I can blab all night, my husband is at his voice lesson, my baby is in bed, I took a hot shower, ate Chocolate ice cream and masked my face with amazing creams. It's me night. 

I will say this week has started amazingly, and I can't wait to share about all the beautiful things happening. The Lord's faithfulness is so extremely wonderful. He gives beauty for ashes, that's for sure. 

Until then.... Thanks for reading, or skimming... either way. Thanks. 


PS: A couple weeks ago Brandon and I attended a workshop by legend Joe McNally. He searched us out in the back of the room (over 500 people there) and picked Brandon and me to be models for his workshop. It just so happened to be our 8-year engagement anniversary. Super sweet.