Friday, April 25, 2014

March, April...

"Oh, Oh... these are beautiful times." - Owl City

Spring is unfolding in the most glorious way here. Having a new neighborhood to explore and see change is so fresh and so sweet. I waddle down the streets and never before have I noticed so many happy birds, so many beautiful flowers, so many different kinds of trees. My backyard is a sanctuary with so many sounds and squirrels playing tag. From our screened in porch it's a peaceful sound machine of color and happiness. Our pond in the neighborhood is full of baby turtles, and the ducks are about to have their baby ducklings. We have one of those alligator turtles that live in the pond. (Ya' know, the ones that are the size of your son) Brandon and I named him "Huck." Last night we found a nest of baby bunnies in a neighbors yard... I couldn't stop smiling at the beauty of spring, baby bunnies, golden light and my husband holding Laef's hand as they walked down the road together. Laef did a little dance and talked to Brandon. It's amazing how magic can be so free and so simple. 

I'm trying to take in the dull, boring moments right now and see the beautiful in them. I know my life is going to be far from boring in about 4 weeks. I don't know what it will be like, I'm sure it will be sweeter than anything life can or has offered Brandon and I.

I haven't felt a whole lot of anything with this pregnancy, which sorta frustrated me a little. I remember being pregnant with Laef and organizing my hallway closet one day... I said to myself "I will never be pregnant again like this, why can't I enjoy it or feel more excited?" I think I've come to accept that, yes, I'm thankful, yes, I'm excited, and yes, I'm feeling full of trust in the Lord's sweet heart for me... but I am not a whimsical "omg! I love being pregnant" mom. No, I really don't like it. I'm to vain for it. I like my skinny body, and look forward to possibly getting a plastic surgery in my mid section. I hate the facebook articles about the beauty of stretch marks and I don't find it dreamy that I carried a baby. It's super unrealistic to me that our body does it. And no I don't feel like a super hero mom that can carry a kid, feed it from my boobs and do dishes, mop floors, put on makeup, hold a baby and talk on the phone all at the same time.

I love my boys, I love that I was and am able to have kids, but I hate what pregnancy does to me. It makes me feel so low physically. So, if your one of those moms that feels like I do.... *high five* we'll get through it, and not beat ourselves up.

I will say, there is nothing at all like having a baby or a child. Raising, caring, loving, exploring, teaching, holding, being with your kid is so perfect. I wouldn't trade my Laef for anything in the world.
So I guess I'm just.... vain. haha

Every now and then I get a sweet memory of watching Brandon hold Laef in his arms for the first time sweep over me. I'm reminded of the pure beauty of meeting Laef for the first time, and then I get excited about feeling an even deeper love of the moment when Atlas finally decides to join our lives fully. Newborns show you that your little selfish life is nothing, compared to this new found love.
I can and can't wait for this next season.

So Brandon and I celebrated our eight year anniversary in Asheville a few weeks ago. (I'm going to start recapping the last month) We got this sweet Bed and Breakfast "The Beaufort House" and spent most of our time in our little room with a sunk in jacuzzi. I think we took like eight baths, since we got rained out. 

We also explored Asheville here and there between the unending rain and a small snow storm one morning. (Yay for a Spring anniversary!) 

Over all it was a very sweet two night's away- get-a-way. I love my Brandon. 

We also have been doing some construction on our home the last three months. It seems like it's been taking forever. So when we bought our amazing home, we had three bedrooms and a room that used to be a bedroom, but the previous owner took out a small wall that connected to the kitchen and made it a useless room. When we were looking at buying the house, we weren't going to go with it, because we needed a four bedroom. When we saw this room, we knew we immediately could put a wall there and have a fourth bedroom. So after buying the house, this room became the cat litter box/junk room for 4-5 months. We stored tools, vacuums, and all the stuff we weren't ready to find a place for yet. Also, there was this tiny pantry that only fit canned goods. We wanted to build a wall to make a bedroom, and on the other side of the wall, put a real pantry. ;D 

In February Brandon and his dad took a weekend and a built a wall. And over the next two months, we spent time painting two rooms, building a pantry and preparing a guest bedroom/baby room.

Eventually I will put both boys in Laef's huge room together. But until Atlas is sleep trained, it will be his room.

So drumroll...... Before

And after... (Thats "Sea Salt" paint by Sherwin Williams)

Before.... (See that tall door to the right? That was the canned good pantry)



 After... (We even painted the whole kitchen Gray Cashmere by Benjamin Moore) oh and we need to paint the pantry door still, so ignore the color.

Before and after of the pantry...

 Here is a little bit more of Atlas' room.

My mom drew these photos for Atlas. They were prints I found online, and my mom replicated them for me!!!

I made the feather mobile out of string, a glue gun, feathers, and sticks. (Don't try this at home)

So where did we get our stuff?

Futon: Ikea
Pillows on Futon: Ikea
Crib: Ikea
Dresser/changing table: Ikea
Sheets: Amazon
Sheep Skin: Ikea
Rug: Sam's club (Martha Stewart)
Frames: Hobby Lobby
Mountain Pillows/ Tribal Blanket: My sister in law made them.
Mobile: Made by me! ;D

So...what else has been happening....? Oh yah.. I got published again for the second time in The Charlotte Wedding Magazine. That was exciting. amazing girlfriends threw me and Atlas a baby shower. It was so, so sweet of them! 

My friend Mallory and I are once again pregnant at the same time (a week and a half apart) - except she is having twin boys and I'm not. (Thank you Lord!)

I shot my first Hilton Head/Savannah Wedding at the most dreamiest venue ever- "The Inn at Palmetto Bluff." I was 34 weeks pregnant. Yes... I know... I am crazy. ;D

My best friend Sharon came to visit me with her little girl, Finley. It was our first visit since Thanksgiving, and her first time staying in my new home!! We had such a wonderful time, sipping coffee together, doing nothing, cooking, picnicking in the park, and watching our little babies play together. <3

Laef and Finley became real pals. ;)

and bunnies..

Laef showed her all his toys and wanted to touch her legs constantly.

I mean... come on!  Give me a black baby!!!

Laef isn't really into drawing. It ends up everywhere but on paper. I don't enjoy it either, so we have that in common. 

Laef isn't far from being two, and his personality seems different every day. I've been reading the book "Love and Logic" from birth to six. I can't recommend it enough. It is helping us so much. We are walking through so much change, but we are really learning how to enjoy the change and start teaching Laef how to think and make right choices. 

He has crazy sweet days, and then days that I blame myself for being a bad parent cause he's having a hard day. I think it's just all a roller coaster from here on. I must learn to parent my own heart first, and not be angry, frustrated or moved by him or at him when he is having a hard day.

I'm 36 weeks pregnant and I officially have like 5 shirts that fit, two pairs of pants, and a couple long skirts. I want to live in yoga pants and chasing Laef around sucks. So kudos to moms pregnant with more then one kid, you must be a super hero.

I think that about covers it all. I'm pretty sure next time I'll be blogging a sweet story of a little boy that is born. My whole world will be emotional, magical, different and I probably won't stop crying...and I will be so okay with that.