"I want to slow down and taste life, give thanks, and see God." Ann Voskamp
(I have this quote sitting by my sink in my kitchen. I need it every day.)
So at last I'm sitting by my fireplace, mid February, ice is falling outside and I'm going to try to recall what happen over the holidays. Since November hit, I feel as if my life sped up as fast as possible and I was just holding on for my dear life. We had a trip to Arizona, three weddings, small children, one sick boy, holiday cray cray, and I was having bouts of slight and very strange dizziness/brain fog that began the night before I shot my wedding in Arizona. This has made the last few months really hard as a mom to parent and take care of kids while struggling with this slight vertigo. I went to the doctors a few times, of course they couldn't help me. I also prayed and cried a lot. This went on through the holidays and till last week. I'm not sure what exactly fixed me, it was either me laying on the floor of my sons room with a sinus infection, dizziness, praying and crying loudly. I said "This is enough! I'm done with this. All this sickness and dizziness. I'm done." Or it could have been me going to a wellness chiropractor a few days later and she took x-rays on me. I have had my Atlas vertebrae rotate flat which is causing light vertigo, hormone imbalance etc. She adjusted me, and I'm going on like day 5 without any vertigo. So Jesus or chiro I'm very happy about it.
So Christmas was sweet, we went to a Christmas tree farm late November and cut down a tree. Laef loved it. He talked about Christmas trees so much all the time. He loved Christmas. These are Atlas' 6 month photos below. I was like a week late in taking them and almost 3 months late in posting. And I have 7 and 8 months to get on here at some point.
The weekend before and leading up to Christmas day, Brandon and I decided to team effort it and take on potty training Laef. This task is not for the weak of heart. Oh man... It was some of the roughest three days of my life. I think it compared to being a mom for the first time and not sure what the heck was happening. We did it that week because Brandon had the whole week off of work, and I didn't want to have to do it alone with two children.
Laef is successful and has had moments of relapse but he is back on track and I'm holding my breath every time he goes. It's been a hard journey. I'm so proud of him though.
This was the best Christmas we have had in a very long time. Christmas evening our family sat around my brother and sister in laws piano and sang Christmas carols loud late into the night. We haven't done that in a very long time. Brandon and I felt so overwhelmed by how sweet it was being with family and just being so content with little or much.
My boys are growing so quickly and I am trying so hard to be the best mom to them in this season of their life. They need me for everything. And it's so hard some days to find peace in the midst of the complete crazy.
Some days I have to fight the dread of the seeing a messy house, two hungry boys crying, 4 loads of unfolded laundry, a pile of dishes and three toilets that need cleaning. I am so blessed and thankful for my mundane days that are creating a beautiful story in my heart. But I do feel like I hardly hanging on some days. Friendships and relationships take more work then ever these days. And its not because I don't love easily, but its being true to myself and finding the people that inspire me, love me and that I love being around. I honestly don't have time for friendships in my life that are not helping me. It's just the season I'm in. I can give very little to those outside of my home, and I have to pick what to invest my time in. I never thought I would have to say those things. I've mostly been a social butterfly and really good at keeping up with every single person in my life. But no, not this time. I need to be inspired and true to myself when I get moments away from my kids.
Is this selfish? Maybe. But it's what I have to have right now. The older we get the more our hearts long to really plant deep relationships and not surface stuff. All of us long to inspire others and long to be inspired.
Atlas is a strong willed, sweet little man. He's crawling everywhere, pulling himself up on everything and longs to be in your lap. He's a cuddle bug. The last 2-4 months he has struggled a lot with sickness/colds/ ear infections and he has had it rough. Since January I've really found myself falling in love with who this little boy is. Being careful to not write him off as another Laef. He is so so different. He is fast at learning, really tough, loves rough play from Laef (thank God) and loves his brother so much. Him and I have bonded through his sickness, and that is sweet. He always preferred Brandon over me. But now, I think he loves me. ;) I'm just falling for this little man.
My parents got Laef a guitar for Christmas, and He loves it. Anytime I play music super loud through the house, or sit at my piano, Laef comes out to play!
He is seriously the sweetest, kindest little 2.5 year old. He says thank you, I'm sorry momma, He cleans up his room every night. I mean... <3 I've loved discovering with him. I've loved seeing the mom in my come out with Laef. He has made me love like nothing else has made me love. The Love and logic method of parenting has made him so sweet.
That's it for now. I'm hoping to catch up so I'm not so overwhelmed with blogging.