Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Goodbye Summer.

"Love; it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, It will set you free. Be more like the man you were made to be. - Mumford & Sons

I think I've been a little more emotional lately. All the pregnancy/breastfeeding hormones are coming to a close and my body is so ready to be done with all of it. It's been a year of constant change in my body and the roller coaster has to end.

So fall is coming. My fireplace beckons me with its smells and patches of yellow leaves are spotted on my neighborhood trees. Minus the fact that its bloody hot out this week and the humidity is insane, I'm wishing upon a pumpkin spice latte for a cool day to put my hair up in a bun, throw my moccs on and grab my new leather bomber jacket while I take the kids out on a walk. I'm ready to be skinny and in my cute fall clothes.

So how are things? well... great! I've had like one super rough day in two months. So I would say that life isn't bad at all. Atlas is growing so fast, and Laef is using full sentences to talk to me and Brandon. His interests have turned from measuring cups and fake food to cars, trains, airplanes, school buses, tractors... anything with wheels. He is loud, he is everywhere, he is constant, he is sweet, he is a ball of boy energy with one level: non-stop. From the moment I get him out of his bed, till he lies down at night.... he runs, and laughs, and talks, and has the sweetest personality. I'm in love with his love.

Atlas is just so interesting to watch. Here is this three month old who is crazy strong. He's trying to crawl, he's wanting to be doing what Laef is doing, he beams when Laef hugs him, touches him, looks at him. oh man! Laef is really sweet with him, although the "Mine!" thing has started, where if Atlas even looks at his toys, it's "MINE!" ... oh joy.

This sums up their relationship a little..

I think about them as brothers when they are teenagers or adults and I'm just so excited to see what they become.

Atlas turned 3 months last Saturday. I'm crazy about his smile. 

He sleeps only on his tummy and his floor time is always tummy time, cause he doesn't really love being on his back. This kid is ready to go! He just wants to be in the thick of things. I'm so in for it. He also loves TV, so I'm having to watch him. I don't think I want him watching stuff yet.

A few weeks ago we took Laef to the splash park in Charlotte. I took my camera to take some beautiful images of him. He gets either super quiet around kids or becomes the biggest show off there is. It's really fun to watch him interact.

Laef got to meet some pigs and goats recently. He wasn't too thrilled about it.

And then, we took a trip to the beach with my folks and Brandon's folks. We were able to get a small condo on the beach for a couple nights, and my mom agreed to take Laef out on the beach and watch him so I could take some photos of him. He loves the ocean and is fearless on the beach. My mom was a hero, chasing him before he got attacked by the waves.

My heart was swooning as I watched Laef run full force at the water and hit the salty waves. He is a little free spirit and I can't get enough of his growing beauty.

I mean... come on ....

As school has started back, I have become much more thankful for every moment with my boys. The other day, Brandon and I double-strollered it down the driveway to take a walk and I started crying... the same driveway that I'm pushing my kids up in a stroller may be the same driveway I say goodbye to them as they leave for college someday. Our neighbors up the street just packed their daughters bags and took her to Oklahoma for college; I'm not so far removed from that to think that I have all the time in the world with these two boys. My days are just fleeing so quickly. Heck, summer is over already. My second child is over three months old. I have TWO KIDS! I just want to love them, and love well. I want to squeeze every last bit of sweetness out of the fleeing seconds of this season.

I am so much more aware of the seasons coming and going since I've had kids. I am currently in a season with small babes and then I'll be in a season of raising children, and then teenagers, and then dancing with my sons at their weddings, and then Lord willing I'll be a grandma to sweet grandkids. I hope to still travel the world with my first love. The season of getting up with Atlas in the middle of the night is pretty much ending. He is sleeping through the night. wow... how fast. He is now in his crib and the Moses basket sits empty by my bed.

The day will come when my kids say goodbye to us in our driveway, and we will walk the empty halls of our house and remember: "It was just a few seasons ago that,our boys filled the halls with toys, and we stubbed our toes on the bouncy more times than we can count." The laundry isn't piled high any more, and there aren't patches of oatmeal dried on the wood floors from breakfast leftovers.

I just can't help but cry and cry when I think about how beautiful my life has been since having these boys. I want to love them well and raise them well.

I feel like I am a broken record in every blog, but I guess it's the one thing I really care about--being fully present, remembering and giving my whole heart to the season that I am in. In a moment, or in a nap time, it can change. (Atlas wakes up and he looks different, or any day Laef could climb out of his crib...oh Lord!)

So, I think that's all I have for now. I'm sure I have a million other things I want to say...

I'm just going to sit back and watch my boys love one another and I'm going to love watching them do that. Laef starts school twice a week this week. I'll have some time to clean my toilets.

Happy Fall!

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